Gil, R.M. & Vazquez, C.I. (1996). The Maria paradox. New York: G.P. Putnam’s Son.
OVERVIEW
Latina women often experience a profound clash between values and culture and the opportunities and expectations they find in America. The Maria Paradox, written by two Hispanic American women—a psychotherapist and a psychologist—addresses this issue, seeking to help Latinas "merge old world traditions with new world self-esteem." At the heart of the book is the concept of " ‘marianismo,’ " the Latina equivalent of what machismo is for Latino men. The authors state that just as the role of the man is determined by the rules of machismo, so is the woman’s determined by those of marianismo. In their home country, this social role provides women protection as wives and mothers. It also offers women respect and a life free from loneliness and wants. However, in the new country, marianismo binds Latinas in a no-win situation, as it insists that they live in a world that no longer exists and it perpetuates a value system that equates perfection with submission.
Marianismo is the ideal role for Hispanic women, viewing the Virgin Mary as the role model. The authors number the ten rules of marianismo. Among the list is the following:
- Do not forget a woman’s place.
- Do not be single, self-supporting, or independent-minded.
- Do not put your own needs first.
- Do not be unhappy with your man, no matter what he does to you.
- Do not forget that sex is for making babies, not for pleasure.
- Do not ask for help.
- Do not discuss personal problems outside the home.
- Do not change.
Using exercises and case studies, the authors thoroughly consider the marianismo’s impact for Latinas in the United States. They present avenues for change and acculturation by integrating the good of the home culture with the good of the new one, encouraging Latinas therefore to become " ‘new marianistas.’ "The Maria Paradox is a great book that all Latinas, those working with them, or those married to them should read. It sheds light into those dark, fussy areas and exposes the "invisible yoke" (marianismo), thus opening a window of hope.
QUOTATIONS
…if machismo is the sum total of what a man should be, marianismo defines the ideal role of woman…taking as its model of perfection the Virgin Mary herself. Marianismo is about sacred duty, self-sacrifice, and chastity. About dispensing care and pleasure, not receiving them. About living in the shadows, literally and figuratively, of your man-father, boyfriend, husband, son-your kids, and your family.
Traditional marianismo says that women are spiritually superior to men and capable of enduring all suffering.
Veneration may be the reward tendered to ‘la mujer buena’, but in actuality you end up feeling more like a servant than a subject of adoration. Indeed, the noble sacrifice of self (the ultimate expression of marianismo) is the force which has for generations prevented Hispanic women from even entertaining the notion of personal validation.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION AND DISCUSSION
- Do you think that marianismo is compatible with life in America? Why or why not?
- After looking at some of the rules of marianismo, how would any one of these create a conflict in the life of a Latina in America?
- Do you see the effects of marianismo within any Latina teens in your youth group?
- Since the concept is so inbred within the culture, can Hispanic American mothers prevent the future pain of their growing daughters? If so, how?
IMPLICATIONS
- If mothers, teachers, counselors, youth workers, etc, become aware and understand the concept of marianismo and how it plays to various degrees in the life of Latinas, it would greatly aid in the difficult process of acculturation and moving toward self-esteem.
- Latinas can use this book as a launching board toward freedom and wholeness.
Ana Reid cCYS
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